# 1 Quality Of A Great Leader-Non-Anxiousness

#1 Quality of a Great Leader? Non-Anxiousness 
How to overcome anxiety and lead your family, church, business, or government…
I have a favorite book right now. It's called A Failure of Nerve. I'm reading It for the 3rd time… well, listening to it, because it finally came out on audio.
What is Differentiated Leadership?
The main point is that what the world's organizations, be they churches, families, companies, governments, or bridge clubs, need is differentiated leadership.
This means that leaders maintain their individual-ness and a vision for the organization while staying engaged.
Engaged, but not enmeshed.
What groups need, says Friedman, is a non-anxious leader who functions in the organization as a non-anxious presence.
The Problem with Anxious Leadership
Poor leadership is over functioning for the individuals in their care, and overfunctioning is a result of anxiousness. When leaders become anxious about outcomes or how they're perceived, they tend to take on responsibilities that rightfully belong to others. This overfunctioning not only exhausts the leader but ultimately handicaps those they lead, preventing them from developing their own capacities and sense of responsibility.
Biblical Foundations for Non-Anxious Leadership
This is so good, and it's biblical too. In Philippians 4:6-7, Paul instructs us, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
This captures perfectly what Friedman means by maintaining a non-anxious presence - letting God's peace, which defies logical understanding, protect our emotional and mental state even amid organizational chaos.
Isaiah 26:3 reinforces this concept: "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." A differentiated leader maintains their focus on higher principles rather than getting swept away by the emotional reactivity around them. This steadfast mind creates the perfect peace needed to lead effectively.
And in Proverbs 29:11, we see the contrast between undifferentiated and differentiated responses: "A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back." The differentiated leader doesn't react impulsively to every stimulus or emotional wave in the organization. Instead, they thoughtfully respond with measured wisdom, maintaining clarity of vision and purpose regardless of the surrounding anxiety.
Friedman's insights about differentiated leadership aren't just good organizational theory—they're deeply aligned with biblical wisdom about peace, self-control, and maintaining focus amid turbulence.
A Parable of Two Leaders, by A.I. 
Once there were two leaders who each guided a ship through treacherous waters.
The first leader, Captain Anxious, constantly worried about everything that could go wrong. When waves crashed against the ship, he rushed from sailor to sailor, taking over their tasks because he feared they wouldn't do them correctly. He stayed awake all night checking and rechecking their course. When crew members made suggestions, he dismissed them, convinced that only his methods would keep them safe. His crew became passive, waiting for his instructions rather than developing their own skills. Though they eventually reached their destination, the journey left everyone—especially the captain—exhausted and resentful.
The second leader, Captain Steadfast, understood the dangers they faced but remained calm. When storms came, she clearly communicated what needed to be done but trusted her crew to handle their responsibilities. She maintained her vision of their destination while staying connected with her crew's experiences. When problems arose, she addressed the relationships and communication patterns rather than just the immediate crisis. Her confidence gave the crew courage, and when she didn't know something, she admitted it and invited their input. Under her leadership, the crew grew more capable with each challenge. They not only reached their destination but arrived with stronger skills and deeper trust in one another.
The difference wasn't in the storms they faced—both encountered equal dangers. The difference was in how each captain responded to those challenges and how that response affected everyone on board.
5 Steps to Becoming a Non-Anxious Leader
Here are 5 steps to becoming non-anxious so that you can lead effectively:

1. Be clear about who you are in Christ - Know your values and what you stand for. When you're confident about your beliefs, other people's stress won't throw you off track so easily.
2. Stay connected without absorbing others' emotions - Build good relationships with people, but don't take on their worries as your own. Their problems don't have to become your problems.
3. Manage your own emotions - Learn to recognize when you're getting anxious and have strategies ready to calm down. Prayer, reading Scripture, breathing exercises, or physical activity can all help reduce stress.
4. Focus on relationships, not just problems - When facing challenges, pay attention to how people are interacting with each other, not just the issue itself. (Friedman calls this "process, not content".) Often, the way people communicate causes more trouble than the actual problem.
5. Respond thoughtfully instead of reacting quickly - Take time to think about your principles before you act. When you respond calmly instead of reacting emotionally, you help everyone else stay calmer too.

The bottom line is this, if you have anxiety, especially when you are a leader, priority one should be overcoming it. It would be easy to say, "That's just how I am," but all the gold lies on the other side of this problem.
Let me encourage you: There is no problem in your life that can be solved by anxiousness.
You have permission from God to have peace, no matter the level of attack or sabotage you are experiencing from others.
When in doubt, "keep calm and pursue your vision" while staying engaged with the hurting ones. This is not permission to ignore people or not see them, but it is permission to not allow their anxiety or under-functioning (failures) to take you out.
This is one of the most important things I've ever learned. I hope and pray for all of us that we can allow God to build this into us and make the world a better place.