You Don’t Have To Be Alone

The 6 Things You Need to Consider if You Want True Friends
 
 
“I’m a Christian, but I have no friends.” 
 
 
If you’re saying that, you have been duped. Someone should have told you that being a Christian is having friends AND family. 
 
 
One beautiful reality baked into our faith is that God binds us together with brothers and sisters all over the world, and usually right on our street. 
 
 
So why does it seem that making friends at church (or anywhere else) is easy for some people but not for you? 
 
 
Or maybe you make friends, but you don’t consider them close. They don’t know you, and if they did….
 
 
We live in a culture where building quality relationships is harder than ever. We have 1000 “friends” on social media, but no one to invite over on our birthday. 
 
 
I think at least part of the reason is that we’re so transient. We don’t live in one place like our grandparents did. 
 
 
Another reason is that we know too many people. Developing a good friendship takes time, and how do you know who to invest time in? 
 
 
Without going too deep into this (yet), here are 6 things to consider: 
 
 

1. Love everyone since that’s what Jesus called us to do. Be kind, loving, forgiving, and caring. Not everyone will love you back. Do this for 30 days and see if a friend emerges. Leviticus 19:18 – “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.”

 

2. Look beyond the type of person you usually gravitate toward; probably someone just like you demographically and psychologically. What matters in a Christ-centered relationship is Christ. If you both have His Spirit, there is a real chance for a quality friendship. Ephesians 2:14: “For He Himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility.”

 

3. Seek friends who want to grow. Proverbs 27:17 – "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."

 

4. Be the kind of friend from Proverbs 17:17 – "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity." Then you will find such a friend. 

 

5. Seek wise friends. Proverbs 13:20 – "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm."

 

6. Knowing that quality friendships take time, decide how many good friends you could have and zero in on just a few. Love everyone, but truly build closeness with 2-5, depending on your time. 

 
 
Finally, if, for some reason, you are in a season where the only people in your environment are toxic, learn to be alone and friends with Jesus, who said: 
 
I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. (Jn 15:15)