Truly Confident Leader, Part 2

Truly Confident Leader, Pt. 2
 
Yesterday, I left you with this question: 
 
Do you feel free? Or do you feel like you should feel free? 
 
And I said being honest about this will put us on the road to true confidence. 
 
If you know you should be free, but you feel anxiety and cover with arrogance, then you’re not free. 
 
How does one truly go free in Christ? 
 
Put another way, how did the pastor I mentioned yesterday come to kill himself after knowing the gospel so well and leading thousands of others to freedom? 
 
Why did he kill himself?
 
I don’t know for sure, but here is what I do know: 
 

1. He had been dabbling in sins like drinking too much and carrying on some inappropriate relationships with women other than his wife. 
2. He grew up with a passive father who was there in body only. 
3. His own particular flavor of idol worship came in a (confessed) desire to be respected.
4. The pressure of great success in ministry crushed him. 

 
There may be more, but here is enough to go on for one post. 
 
He was driven to succeed, but no amount of success could cure his insecurity about being respected by others. The weight of it was too much, because, at some point, he chose not to give it over to Christ. 
 
That seems harsh, but it’s apparently true. 
 
Others who knew him better told me he had a tendency to always say what people wanted to hear. He could repent like no one else. He could confess his sins, but he could not give them to Christ. People were often taken by surprise at his behavior after hearing his words. He had seemed so sincere, but his actions showed he was truly unchanged. 
 
(It is an occupational hazard that we pastors can be too good with words sometimes and sometimes forget to believe what we are saying so effectively.) 
 
In the end, it seemed he was not willing to fail. Accepting his failures would have been the only way for him to truly receive the grace he preached about so powerfully and beautifully to others. 
 
Why was he not willing to fail? 
 
This takes us back to last week when we talked about leaders needing to love the truth more than their vision. They also need to love the truth more than their position. How incredibly difficult. 
 
Even if we don’t come to suicide, there are 1000 other ways we will cause harm by not loving God and truth more than our position and success. 
 
Leaders, what would it take to accept that your worth is in what Christ has done. What would it take to simply accept the truth, even if it has disqualified you for your position? What would it take to be God’s child above everything else He has built into your identity?
 
Everything else He has made you to be, that is, every other identity He has given you, is subordinate to your identity in Him. 
 
I’m praying for all of us right this very minute that we will stop and receive. Don’t lead another step without working this out in your heart. 
 
God doesn’t need you. He wants you. 
 
True confidence is your most important quality as a leader, because it means something about your character. It means you have accepted your flaws, given them to God, and settled your soul. 
 
Now, rather than think about yourself all day, you can think about your task. 
 
Rather than measure your status in the eyes of others, you can fellowship with God and man. 
 
Rather than make decisions from anxiety, you can do what you believe is the right and just thing. 
 
Rather than live in fear of someone thinking ill of you, you can have the Courage to Be Disliked when necessary. 
 
Growth is a process. Do you have more confidence than you had last year? How about last week? Let God have at you in this area by telling Him it’s His ministry (or career, or family, or life), not (just) yours. 
 
Don’t just know this; stop everything and apply it.