Focus On Values
Yesterday, we said focus was crucial.
But focus on what? If we are redeemed and renewed, then it’s our values.
Values
Apart from my salvation, the most important thing that happened to me was to develop a particular understanding of James 4:1-2.
1 What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. (ESV emphasis added)
This passage is rightly understood as pertaining to at least two people fighting because they each value something that is at odds with what the other one values. Their “passions are at war within them.”
But when it says “within them,” it allows me to imagine that the war is happening inside of me, even if there is no opponent I want to murder.
Wow…think about that. Your desires are at war inside you, warring with each other.
What kind of turmoil is that causing? I think it’s a lot.
It’s tempting to think desire is the problem. But desiring would be perfectly natural, even if we didn’t have sin in our flesh.
So bear with me and assume that desire is okay. What goes wrong, then?
What if your desires are waging war because they are out of order?
Think about the things you desire. Think about the things you value. When two values are at odds, they are probably out of order. All humans have a hierarchy of values, and if lower values are insubordinate, it will cause issues.
For instance: You value your marriage, golf, work, and God.
What order should those be in? Nothing wrong with having golf as a value. (Not me. I’m not paying money to get mad.) But if you put it above God, work, or your marriage, you will have a trainwreck of a life.
It should be:
God
Marriage
Work
A bunch of other stuff
Golf
You could make a case that work is even a higher priority than marriage since it is lower at the base of a hierarchy of needs. Can’t support a marriage if you have no food. Spiritually, however, I’d still put my marriage above my work.
Today, if you are willing to do this with me, list all the things you think you value. Beware, though; the other thing that can mess us up is to treat as values things we don’t truly value. Why would we do that? Social pressure is the most common reason. So be careful. Pray, ask God to help you search your heart, and start writing all your values. These are not the things you think you should want. These are the things you actually want. Here are some of mine, in no particular order.
I’m sure I could come up with a hundred more. How about you? Tomorrow we’ll talk more about the different value domains. I have a friend, Tal Tsafany, who, though not a Christian, has done some incredible work in this area with his Happiness Teams.
I pray that you will have a value-oriented day today. Just thinking about what you value will cause you to make the wisest use of your time. On that note,
15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. (Eph 5:15-16 ESV)
But focus on what? If we are redeemed and renewed, then it’s our values.
Values
Apart from my salvation, the most important thing that happened to me was to develop a particular understanding of James 4:1-2.
1 What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. (ESV emphasis added)
This passage is rightly understood as pertaining to at least two people fighting because they each value something that is at odds with what the other one values. Their “passions are at war within them.”
But when it says “within them,” it allows me to imagine that the war is happening inside of me, even if there is no opponent I want to murder.
Wow…think about that. Your desires are at war inside you, warring with each other.
What kind of turmoil is that causing? I think it’s a lot.
It’s tempting to think desire is the problem. But desiring would be perfectly natural, even if we didn’t have sin in our flesh.
So bear with me and assume that desire is okay. What goes wrong, then?
What if your desires are waging war because they are out of order?
Think about the things you desire. Think about the things you value. When two values are at odds, they are probably out of order. All humans have a hierarchy of values, and if lower values are insubordinate, it will cause issues.
For instance: You value your marriage, golf, work, and God.
What order should those be in? Nothing wrong with having golf as a value. (Not me. I’m not paying money to get mad.) But if you put it above God, work, or your marriage, you will have a trainwreck of a life.
It should be:
God
Marriage
Work
A bunch of other stuff
Golf
You could make a case that work is even a higher priority than marriage since it is lower at the base of a hierarchy of needs. Can’t support a marriage if you have no food. Spiritually, however, I’d still put my marriage above my work.
Today, if you are willing to do this with me, list all the things you think you value. Beware, though; the other thing that can mess us up is to treat as values things we don’t truly value. Why would we do that? Social pressure is the most common reason. So be careful. Pray, ask God to help you search your heart, and start writing all your values. These are not the things you think you should want. These are the things you actually want. Here are some of mine, in no particular order.
- Right relationship with Jesus
- Good marriage
- A loving and respectful relationship with my kids
- Work I don’t hate that pays the bills
- Work I love that might someday pay the bills
- Eating healthy
- Exercising
- Being part of a good church
- Studying the Bible
- Reading good books
- Thinking about theology and philosophy in a way that helps me live life better
- Honesty
- Going on walks
- Helping fathers in my community
- Church planting
- Healthy relationships with my parents and siblings
- Being useful to my community
- Writing
- Teaching writing
- Preaching
- Tasty food
- Capitalism
- Generosity
- Justice
- Mercy
- Archery
- Fishing
- Pick up trucks
- Bulldogs
- Football
- Music
- Singing
- Gardening
- Managing my finances responsibly
- Extended family
- Knowing a lot of people
- Being super close with a few people
- Small group Bible studies
- Beautiful architecture
- Greatness of any kind
- Good movies and TV shows
- Skiing
- Body surfing in the ocean
I’m sure I could come up with a hundred more. How about you? Tomorrow we’ll talk more about the different value domains. I have a friend, Tal Tsafany, who, though not a Christian, has done some incredible work in this area with his Happiness Teams.
I pray that you will have a value-oriented day today. Just thinking about what you value will cause you to make the wisest use of your time. On that note,
15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. (Eph 5:15-16 ESV)
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