The Bible Says Transform By The Renewing Of The Mind, But How?

Something interesting and cool happened last week.
 
I was at Panera, and a man came and stood very close to me, acting strange.
 
I felt on alert and imagined him attacking me. 
 
Then the cool thing happened. In my imagination, the fight went to some moves I’d learned in my extremely short time training in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. By short time, I mean, I’d been to only 4 sessions! 
 
4!
 
Four!
 
I know almost nothing. The only way I know I’ve been training is that I’m in pain a lot!
 
And yet…
 
I felt already that my body would know where to start in the improbable event that this man did attack me in the Panera in front of 30 people. (Is someone paranoid?)
 
Please understand, I doubt that I did know enough to actually use it; I’m just talking about my imagination here.
 
But that got me thinking…
 
They say the point of studying a self-defense technique is to train your body to go on autopilot in the event that you need it. 
 
What I wonder now is: What else could be like that? What other automatic responses could I train into my body? 
 
Last week, I wrote about algorithms and programming the inner world to generate new automatic responses. This is what I’m talking about. 
 
But rather than wait for time to do it, could there be a program like what I’m getting from going to a BJJ gym? Let’s imagine one (or two, or three). 
 
What would you like to change about your automatic responses? 
 
Now that I think about it, something similar happened recently when my wife and I were participating in an online marriage coaching program. 
 
We were being coached on listening to and understanding each other’s perspectives and feelings. The coach used the idea of a clock to show that if each of us were looking at the opposite side of the clock, we’d both be seeing the clock, but describing it differently. 
 
My wife might say, “It’s got hands and numbers, and it’s round.” 
 
I might say, “Yeah, it’s round, but I see gears and dials.” 
 
We’re both seeing the clock, but only our side, and no one is necessarily wrong. 
 
This has been a game changer for our communication. 
 
Before, if my wife described an issue she was having, I might see it as an attack and get defensive. Doing this exercise with her every week trained me to simply understand what she was saying, apart from what it might mean about me. She felt much more loved and cared for.
 
It’s challenging to do, but it’s not impossible. 
 
At first, this was an exercise. We set a timer for 10 minutes, and one of us shared our perspective on an issue. 
 
The other is not allowed to talk for the whole 10 minutes. 
 
Then, when the timer goes off, one person stops sharing, and the other person gives feedback to show that they have grasped what was being said. 
 
They may, or may not then trade positions for another 15 minutes. 
 
After a while, though I’m not perfect at it, I am much better at defaulting to listening over getting defensive. I’m being reprogrammed. 
 
This took intentional practice and eventually became automatic, just like Ju Jitsu. 
 
What else could we try? 
 
Here are some suggestions: 
 

1. Being present. 

 

2. Being bold. 

 

3. Being loving.

 

4. Being someone who does not procrastinate. 

 
 
Problems arise in my life when I am not present with my work or loved ones. A daily practice of presence through spiritual disciplines and meditation is a great help in this. 
 
As I think about the other three, actively using my imagination has helped me the most.
 
There have been a few times in my life when I had to be bold, and I was afraid. Conflict is not in my nature. So I sat and imagined the confrontation I needed to have until I felt it. I felt afraid. I felt fight-or-flight. 
 
Then, in my mind, I said what I had to say and imagined their response. I handled it and responded appropriately. 
 
I did it once or twice, and it worked like magic. It changed how I felt about confrontation. I confronted the person in my mind and did not die. My body didn’t know I was imagining it. It acted as though the whole thing were real, and I’m just the sort of person who will be bold in confrontation. I guess I am now, because now I am not so afraid. I have become more bold.
 
Try it. 
 
If you are not a loving person, but as a Christian you believe you should be, use your mind. Imagine a situation where you usually feel unloving and selfish. Act the opposite in the movie you’re playing in your head. 
 
How about being someone who does not procrastinate? Same thing. Imagine you have a big project and don’t even want to start. Think of it. Get an accurate, clear picture in your mind. Feel those feelings of resistance. In your mind, think, “3-2-1, Go!” And start. 
 
What else could you try this on? What else can you practice and reprogram? You are a changed person once your body starts a new way of being. 
 
Romans 12:2 (NIV) says, 
 
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.