Leading? Be Very, Very Afraid. Especially If You Are A Good Communicator

I have thrown out any bathwater I can discern and kept the baby of leadership.
To put it another way, I’ve been so traumatized by bad leaders that I needed to make sure I believed there should be leaders at all.
 
I do.
These 10 things should characterize leaders:
1. Trusting God for outcomes. Fearing God.
2. Loving the truth above all things.
3. In love with the vision (to some degree).
4. Having a reverence for other individuals.
5. Able to disillusion followers (about the leader him- or herself).
6. Open to criticism and questions.
7. If possible, a life that is a concrete embodiment of the vision.
8. Confident in Christ, but not arrogant.
9. Pretty good at communicating.
10. Nerve to move forward, though some will disagree.
There are only two we haven’t discussed: Number 9, “Pretty good at communicating,” and number 10, “Nerve to move forward, though some will disagree.”
Let’s do number 9.
Leaders have to be able to communicate in multiple ways if they are to lead effectively. Good communication is actually what causes even bad leaders to make progress. As long as they are good communicators, they can hide flaws in character or vision for a long time.
But this is why it’s a touchy subject. 
I mentioned a few days ago reading Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism, by Amanda Montell. It’s a scary book that covers the whole spectrum of cults. 
Whether it’s Jim Jones and Charles Manson, or CrossFit and Amway, language is the most potent weapon leaders wield.
When I finish this article, I will agonize just a bit over the title. I should agonize over the whole article, but it’s a daily, and I just don’t have that much time. I agonize over the words of the title. The language. How can I put this so you will click? Are there any ethical considerations?
And that’s the big question for leaders: Are there any ethical considerations we must apply when we begin to learn how to communicate to those we’ve been entrusted to lead?
Hitler was fond of quoting Scripture because he knew Christians wanted to believe in him (confirmation bias). Quoting Scripture is one of the ways to put Christians at ease. Lincoln and Washington, and many others did it as well.
Last year, I read another scary book about language by the man who is considered the GOAT of marketing, Robert Cialdini, Influence: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion.
If you know what you’re doing, you can surely manipulate people.
I took a course in sales this year. I’m sure there are some honest salesmen and women, but sales courses seem like they deal in how to lie—first to yourself about the customer’s need for your product, and then to the customer. 
“Slimy” is the word that comes to mind. The only good thing I got out of that course was that when the leader tried to upsell me significantly to the next course, he had already taught me the tricks he was using on me. It was rather satisfying to point that out to him.
When I was in the Air Force, like 97% of personnel, I was not a combat soldier, but a transporter of cargo (Air Transportation Specialist, if you’re fancy). However, we invaded Haiti in 1994, and I was sent in. We didn’t know if they would resist or not, so they issued us M-16s.
I wasn’t used to it, not having grown up with guns. It was really something to know I had the power in my hands to take life and the potential to need to. All our security briefings were designed to sober us up to the reality that just because you joined the military in a non-combat role, it didn’t mean you might not be required to fight and die…and kill. 
Thankfully, they did not resist, and we did not have to shoot anyone.
And that is exactly how I feel about the power of communication. I’ve seen the ugly side, and still do. It is a dangerous weapon to be taken seriously. 
So rather than write today about how to be an effective communicator, I’d will lay down some ground rules for those who see it for what it is—dangerous in the wrong hands—but need to use it anyway. 
How not to hurt people with your effective communication: 

1. Learn to listen even better than you speak.
2. Be ruthlessly honest with yourself about what you are saying and your motive. 
3. Be ruthlessly honest with your followers about what you are saying and your motive. 
4. Related to 2 and 3 is never, ever, ever, distort facts.
5. Never exploit people’s emotions.
6. Never exploit people’s vulnerabilities. 
7. Never imply threats to make someone do something they wouldn’t otherwise do. Coercion involves removing choices by some kind of threat of force (“You’ll be shunned if…”)
8. Use your words to promote autonomy in your hearers/followers.
9. Be passionate about your views, but encourage others to come to their own conclusions with no strings (think Bereans here).

Right here, friends, I’m going to pause until tomorrow. I think I mentioned I broke my leg last week. I had surgery Wednesday, and pain killers are necessary, but brain fog just rolled in and took over. See you tomorrow for the rest of this list. God bless.