Happening To You, Or For You?

Do things happen to you, or do you happen to things? 
I’ll keep this short. 
Of course, things happen to us all day. I woke up late, ran out of coffee, had to get labs done, and my appointment ran late. A client quit on me, and a church friend suffered a loss. 
The list goes on forever. 
But something has been coming up from many directions and sources lately that feels like a God thing. 
Extreme ownership. 
Inner locus of control.
Personal responsibility. 
Free will. 
Life happens for you rather than to you. 
All these are ways of saying that we can see ourselves as responsible and in control of our lives or as a victim.
Even when people do terrible things to you, you can at least focus on how you let them do it. It helps. 
I was part of a cultish network of churches for years. 
I didn’t get free of the spiritual trauma until I admitted and repented that I chose it. At various points, I knew it was wrong, but I didn’t want the consequences of knowing that. So I stayed too long. I kept my family in for too long. Held a leadership position too long. 
From getting out, I learned about agency. This is not a discussion about who has the least or most agency in our society (I’m a 50-year-old white male with resources). 
Because I think it doesn’t matter. With all my heart, I believe it doesn’t matter in the context I’m writing about here.
The more responsibility you take, the greater your chances of stewarding your life in a way that is uncommon in the best possible of ways. 
Galatians 6:5 says, “For each will have to bear his own load.”
And 2 Corinthians 5:10:  “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.”
And it starts…with knowing your values.
And focusing!